I wrote these pieces of lunacy while attending the University of Waterloo. I had this bad habit of staying up until all hours, and using my extra time awake to spew gibberish in to emails. As such, I feel the need to warn you that these will seem to make no sense the first time you read them, though the next couple times will be no different. They also tend to have paragraphs longer than a page, and I cannot vouch for the accuracy of any grammar or spelling contained therein...
I should also tell you that all the people I refer to in the rants are people I know personally (with a few obvious exceptions), and that they have all read these monstrosities and not ripped off my arm to beat me with. It's also useful to know that in the Math Building on the UW campus is a gigantic room filled with couches, tables, and vending machines. This room is called the "Comfy Lounge" for the obvious reason: it's really comfy.
If for some reason you feel the urge to acquire a copy of any of these rants, you can get a plaintext version by entering http://webmaster.public-politics.com/rants/Rant_v#.txt where # represents the number of rant. They average about 15kb in size. This is a Linux server, so capitalization counts.
Rant 1 was originally written from my friend Kevin's email address, and sent to his girlfriend at the time, Dawn. The end of this rant was Kevin's idea, and I take no responsibility for it. I also stole part of it from Bill Cosby; bonus points if you can tell which part!